


Why Won't You Love Me

by willorwont5331



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 07:39:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15990680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/willorwont5331/pseuds/willorwont5331
Summary: Beca has one question for Chloe.





	1. Chapter 1

She doesn’t know why she feels like this.

This sense of disappointment and anger has begun to consume her thoughts. Nothing in her life has changed, not really.

She is still a young college student dreaming to be a music producer, member of the Barden Bellas, and desperately in love with her best friend.

Maybe the last thing is the reason she feels so lonely right now.

She shifts in her uncomfortable airport chair and takes off her headphones to hear the overhead speaker.

Now boarding Zone B for Seattle.

She stands up for her seat and collects her carry-on bag, her headphones dangling from her neck. While boarding the plane, she makes as little eye contact with the other passengers as possible. She nods in appreciation to the flight crew as they welcome her.

She can’t muster even the slightest smile but hopes they understand.

She finds her seat in the middle of the plane. Luckily, it is a window seat.

Settling in, she looks out the window only to see a long plane wing blocking her view from most everything else. Of course, she would get the worst window seat in the entire plane.

She raises her headphones from their resting place on her neck and places them back over her ears, hoping music would calm her swirling mind, but knowing it will be no help.

24 HOURS PRIOR

Beca’s packing is disrupted by a knock on the door. Surprised by the noise, she slowly walks to it.

The knocking sounds again, but this time there is a voice behind it. “Beca, are you in there?”

She opens the door with a grin on her face. Chloe Beale walks right in without a proper invitation, as this has become all too normal for the pair.

“So, are you ready to go?” Chloe asks in a melodic tone.

“What are you talking about Chloe”

She genuinely has no idea what her friend is referring to. There isn’t a Bella bonding activity planned for another 2 weeks and it’s only 7:00, so still too early for Chloe to want to go to their favorite bar near campus.

“I want to take you to dinner before you leave me for a week to visit your mom!”

Beca’s heart jumps when she says that she is leaving her for a week. She would never leave her.

“I can’t go tonight. I have to pack.”

“You sh—”

“Yes, I know I should have started this sooner so I wouldn’t be this stressed, but I didn’t.” She says turning her head so Chloe won’t see her grin. She needed Chloe to understand that she didn’t have time to hang out tonight.

“What can I do to get you to come with me? Do I have to promise to help you when we get back?”

Beca did hate packing, and if Chloe helped her, she would get more time with her before she left.

“Fine, but I swear if you slow me down, I will end you.” She says trying her hardest not to crack a smile, but failing miserably the second she sees the blue eyes of her best friend.

Chloe begins to laugh along with her.

“So is that a yes?” she says in between chuckles.

“Are you paying for food?”

“Of course! This is my treat!”

“Wow, my first date with Chloe Beale. How exciting!” Beca sarcastically says, clapping her hands in front of her face and hopping ever so slightly off the floor.

Chloe rolls her eyes with a laugh as she grabs Beca’s bag from her bed frame.

“Come on weirdo”

“Whatever you say. And I am fully expecting you to open every single door we come in contact with tonight.”

Chloe rolls her eyes as she opens the door to Beca’s apartment.

Beca takes this opportunity to give Chloe a curtsey with an invisible skirt before she stepped through the open door.

PRESENT

The ground below Beca begins to move, and the plane starts to make its way to the runway. As the flight crew gives their final instructions for the flight, the passengers are told to put their phones in airplane mode.

Beca hasn’t looked at her phone since she got to the airport. Every time she opens her phone, Chloe’s face stares back at her.

She’s always loved her screensaver.

Chloe in the mist of one of the biggest laughs Beca had ever seen. Her mouth was slightly hanging open to allow the laughter to escape while smiling so big that it seemed to cover her entire face. Her eyes were glowing as they always were but the blue shirt she was wearing in the picture made them jump out of the screen even more.

This candid shot of Chloe never failed to make her smile. This time, however, it only made her stomach drop.

As fast as she can, she opens her phone, only to turn on airplane mode, and then quickly turns the screen away from her. She must force herself not to cry in front of these people.

Beca hates crying.

She felt utterly powerless when she cried and did not want to feel like that in a plane cabin full of strangers. She had to keep her tears held back.

She blinks her eyes rapidly and holds her head at an awkward angle, simply trying to keep the tears from falling onto her now fastened seatbelt.

The plane begins to move fast and become shaky as it picks up speed. Trapped in her thoughts, Beca doesn’t even realize they are in the air.

The tears that were previously threatening to spill over finally stop. Beca’s mind also slows as the plane approaches its peak altitude.

The flight attendants begin to go through the cabin collecting orders from passengers wanting more than the complimentary peanuts and water.

The flight is supposed to take about 7 hours so Beca had plenty of time to waste.

She looks at her phone to see the time, and instead of the clock, her eyes glance at the same screensaver of the woman that was previously spinning around her brain.

The face staring back at her usually made her feel less alone, as if to say, “don’t worry, you won’t be lonely.” Now though, it had the exact opposite effect.

She tries to smile and find the comfort that the picture usually brought her.

She remembers the times during Bella rehearsal when Chloe would become so stressed about an upcoming competition that Beca had to call off practice for the day.

She would always come up with an excuse about her having her period or rolling an ankle during a dance, so that Chloe would have time to feel better. Beca always felt like helping Chloe in these moments her most important task.

A smile starts to creep on her face as she remembers the quiet “thank you” Chloe would give her once everyone left the rehearsal space.

Her smile soon fades and the words that rattled around her mind since Chloe left the night before reenters.

Why won’t you love me?

22 HOURS PRIOR

“How do you do that?” Beca asked as she stared at Chloe digging through her refrigerator. She couldn’t understand how, after they ate the dinner and the dessert that Chloe insisted on paying for, she could still be hunting for food.

“Come on! Don’t go judging me!” Chloe says through a wide smile.

Beca couldn’t help but shake her head and laugh at her ridiculous friend. The light of the refrigerator made Chloe look even more angelic than normal.

“How do you stay in such good shape when you eat like a starved lion?”

Chloe’s body turned from the fridge, revealing the container of guacamole she had in her hand.

“Well thank you for the compliment,” she said. “Would you grab some chips? I don’t think you want me to eat this with my bare hands.”

As Beca opened the pantry, Chloe made her way to Beca’s bed in the corner of the room. She sat down and started looking through the open suitcase that was left on the bed before they went to dinner.

Beca’s studio apartment wasn’t very large, but she never minded the small space. It made the room feel cozy when she walked into it.

“Okay, it’s time for you to help me pack as you promised.”

Beca came back in with a bag of tortilla chips, which she handed to Chloe’s open hand.

“I don’t know why you’re so stressed out. You have the essentials packed up already—socks, shirts, bras, underwear,” Chloe said, holding up each item of clothing as she announced its presence.

Beca had to turn to a drawer and act as if she was digging through it for the perfect pair of socks, just to shield the blush that was spreading on her cheeks when Chloe looked at her bras and underwear.

They had seen each other in various stages of undress multiple times, but something about tonight felt different to Beca.

“Hey, would you look at me? What’s wrong?”

Beca turned to face her. The smile on her face began to waiver.

“There isn’t anything wrong Chlo. I’m just stressed out about getting packed up and leaving tomorrow.”

Chloe grabbed Beca’s hands and moved to her knees on the bed, so she could look Beca in the eyes.

“There is nothing to worry about. We will get you all packed up, and you will get on your flight tomorrow and have a great time with your mom and I will be waiting here for you when you get back, so you can tell me all about it.”

Beca gripped Chloe’s hands harder as she spoke.

“I’m going to be really lonely without you,” Chloe spoke in a softer voice.

Tears started to form in Beca’s eyes when the words left Chloe’s mouth, because she knew it would be so much harder on her than it would be on Chloe.

There was a silence that followed Chloe’s statement. Beca didn’t know what to say.

The only thing she could think was, ‘then why won’t you love me?’

PRESENT

Beca spent most of the flight asleep in her chair. She woke up to the plane’s wheels hitting the runway and moving the entire cabin.

The second they could turn back on their devices, she flipped her phone off airplane mode. She needed to tell Chloe that she landed.

Even with her clouded mind, she still knew that Chloe would be worried about her, and the idea of Chloe worried made Beca feel too guilty to ignore.

Beca 12:43 a.m. PST

I landed.

Chloe 2:44 a.m. CST

Thank god. I was worried.

Beca 12:44 a.m. PST

Why are you awake?

Chloe 2:45 a.m. CST

I couldn’t sleep so I went to Joe’s.

Beca 12:46 a.m. PST

You went to our favorite bar without me?? I think I should be offended.

Chloe 2:47 a.m. CST

I came here because it reminded me of youuuu.

Beca’s breath hitched as she read Chloe’s message. Throughout their small text conversation, Beca had forgotten that she was still at the airport.

Once she found her luggage on the long carousel of bags, she dragged it to a chair nearby so she could call her ride.

As she messaged her mom to pick her up, she noticed she had missed many messages from Chloe.

Chloe 2:49 a.m. CST

Helloooooo! Are you thereeeee?

Chloe 2:51 a.m. CST

I knew I shouldn’t have said anythinggg. Ughh why am I so stupidddd

Chloe 2:55 a.m. CST

I didn’t mean what I saidd. I mean I did mean it but not creepily! I just miss you is all.

Chloe 2:59 a.m. CST

Please talk to meeeeee

As Beca was typing our a response to an obviously drunk Chloe, her phone chimed with another new message.

Chloe 3:10 a.m. CST

Beca, it’s so hard to be lonely.

She stared at the screen for what felt like hours. The airport commotion became nonexistent as her mind tried to make sense of the words in the message.

She tried to decide how to respond.

She didn’t know if she was supposed to reply with ‘how are you lonely with a bar full of people around you’ or if she is supposed to take the statement made with as much weight as she wants to.

She wants Chloe to be telling her that she needs her and loves her and wants her to hurry back.

She wants Chloe to be telling her all about how much she wants to hold her and hug her and kiss her.

She wants this fantasy in her head to be real.

She pulls up the keyboard on her phone to type her response.

…

The ‘send’ button stares at her as if it is daring her to press it and unleash the consequences of admitting her feelings.

Her thumb hovers around the button.

She thinks ‘nothing can actually change because of a simple text, right?’

Without thinking, her thumb pressed on the screen and her message sends to her best friend.

Beca 1:20 a.m. PST

Why won’t you love me?


	2. WWYLM Pt 2

Chloe 3:10 a.m. CST  
Beca, it’s so hard to be lonely.

Beca 1:20 a.m. PST  
Why won’t you love me?

Chloe stared at the message for a long time before ultimately locking her phone and placing it face down on the table. 

Joe’s was a very busy place, even at 3:30 in the morning. There were people all around her drinking, laughing and living their life, not knowing that her own was collapsing around her. 

She didn’t know the response she was hoping to get from Beca.

Maybe she was hoping that Beca would say something witty and cute to make her feel better, or something about how she will be back before Chloe can even miss her that much, anything to make her feel better.

She never thought she would receive the question that she did. 

Chloe was confused about her own feelings. She loved her best friend, of course. But what kind of love was Beca asking. 

 

Her intoxicated mind couldn’t figure it out. 

She had made many mistakes intoxicated, and it would take time to figure out if this was just another one in her long line of drunken mistakes.

She walked herself back to her apartment, still trying to decode the message that was haunting her every thought. 

She decided not to reply in her weakened state. In order to give Beca the reply she deserved, she would need a clear head and plenty of time to figure it out. 

Beca spent the rest of the day glancing at her phone every 5 minutes, sometimes even more frequently. 

She couldn’t stand the waiting game. Chloe was the fastest texter she had ever met. The woman was always on her phone, so she knew she saw her message. 

Without sleep, the night went by at a snail’s pace.

When 8:00 rolled around, Beca decided that it is an acceptable time to leave her childhood bedroom and walk down to her mom’s kitchen. 

She doesn’t remember much after she sent her message.

She remembered her mom picking her up from the airport and attempting to talk to her during the car ride. She tried her hardest to carry on a normal conversation but eventually had to give up. Her mom just assumed she was tired from the flight and continued the drive in a comfortable silence.

Beca investigated the kitchen’s contents and found that the pantry seemed to be freshly stocked with all her favorite foods. She quickly found the Wild Berry flavored Poptarts and stuck one into the toaster. 

Her focus on the toaster didn’t waver even after she heard footsteps coming from the hallway behind her. 

“I see you found the pantry without any problems.”

After her parents divorce, Beca became very close with her mother. She was a friend more so than a parent. 

Typically, Beca would have a sarcastic to throw back at her mom, but her lack of sleep combined with still not receiving a message back from Chloe, made her not have the energy for their normal banter.

“Yeah I did. Thanks for getting all this for me.”

“What’s the matter Beca?”

Her mother could be a professional at knowing when her daughter needed to get something off her chest. It is something that Beca had always appreciated. 

This time, however, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to share all the details with her. 

“I think I told one of my friends something that I don’t think they weren’t ready to hear, and now I don’t know if she will ever talk to me again.”

Her mother took a deep breath, trying to decide how to decode this cryptic message that her daughter just gave her. 

Beca had always been a closed off person. Growing up, she never had many friends and those that she had, she kept them at a distance. Her mom knew how difficult it was for Beca to trust anyone. 

“Well, I think that you need to trust your friend to react with an open mind. You also need to give this person enough time to figure their feelings out.”

Beca gave her mom a slight nod in appreciation, and turned back to grab her Poptart from the toaster. 

“Shit that’s hot!” Beca exclaims while dropping the Poptart on the counter.

Her mother begins to laugh at her, as Beca travels to the sink to rinse her fingers with cold water. 

“Who knew eating a Poptart was such a dangerous activity. No wonder you never played sports,” her mother said, hiding her grin behind her coffee cup. 

The rest of the week went by in a blur for Beca.

Her mother was careful with her, which Beca can’t stand. She understand why her mom was doing that, but it broke her heart that she caused her mom to worry about her. 

Instead of checking her phone every 5 minutes, Beca checked it every 10 minutes. 

Then after a few days she checked it every 30 minutes.

Still nothing from Chloe. 

By the end of her trip, Beca is tired of worrying. She had given up all hope that her best friend would reply. 

She gave up all hope that her best friend would ever talk to her again. 

Since Beca joined the Bellas, the two girls had never gone more than a few days without talking. There was always some small conversation happening either through texts or during rehearsal. 

Her phone felt useless without being lit up by Chloe’s contact photo. It became a brick that she carried around with the only purpose to provide light in a dark area. 

Her mom dropped her off at the airport for her trip back to Barden University. 

She was about an hour early for her flight so she found a seat near a window. She liked seeing the planes coming and going from the tarmac. 

It had been seven days since she last heard anything from Chloe. It had been even longer since she had heard her voice and felt her touch.

She missed her.

After her group was called on to the plane and before the passengers were told to put their phones on airplane mode, Beca sent her a message. 

Beca 8:12 p.m. PST  
Hey, I don’t know if you care, but I thought I would let you know that my plane is about to take off. 

She didn’t want Chloe to worry about her. She hated when Chloe worried. 

After pressing send, Beca put her phone on airplane mode again, and began to fall asleep.

Chloe hadn't left her apartment since she got home from Joe’s a week prior. She didn’t trust herself to get intoxicated again.

She couldn’t afford messaging Beca back something stupid.

When Chloe received Beca’s newest message, she was on the floor in front of her couch. On her right side was the TV remote, and on her left was a bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos. 

Throughout the week, Chloe would unlock her phone every few minutes to see Beca’s question on the screen and try to think of the perfect response. 

She would type out a few words, then erase it. 

Eventually she would give up and lock the phone back up again, only to continue the cycle a few minutes later. 

This time when she checked her phone, she saw new words staring at her. Her mouth involuntarily curved at the corners, and she smiled for the first time in a week. 

After Beca’s plane landed, she didn’t bother checking her phone. Her mom said she would call her later to make sure she got home safe.

She also didn’t think she could handle another message ignored by her best friend. She didn’t want to look at her phone and see no new messages.

The taxi ride to her apartment was quiet. She focused mostly on the lights flickering around the streets and the radio that was barely above a whisper. Even past 4:00 a.m. the streets of Baton Rouge were still alive.

She appreciated that the driver didn’t try to make small talk. The only words they exchanged were the address to the apartment and the price for the ride.

Beca used the light on her phone screen to dig around her purse of her wallet to pay the driver. She quickly found it and handed her debit card to the man behind the wheel. 

Before placing her phone back in her pocket, she managed to catch a glimpse of the screen. 

Her heart dropped when she saw no notification on the screen--no text, no message, nothing.

She shouldn’t be surprised. However, a part of her hoped that Chloe would surprise her.

She usually always did. 

She walked to the door of her apartment, and instead of opening it right away, she placed her head on the outside of the door. She took a deep breath as she prepared to reenter the real world. 

She could no longer hide in Seattle with her mom, putting together puzzles. 

She had to eventually face Chloe. She had to face the consequences of her message.

She reached for her phone and selected Chloe’s contact. Her thumb again hovered over the screen as she debated whether or not to press the ‘call’ button. 

Next thing she knew, the phone is dialing.

She closed her eyes to keep in the tears forming in her eyes and placed the phone up to her ear, as she unlocked the door and walks in.

Once she enters her apartment, she jumps as her eyes lock on the woman sitting on her bed. 

Chloe quickly stands up when she notices Beca entering the room.

“Dude, how and why are you in my place??” Beca says much louder than she intended while attempting to wipe the water from her eyes. 

“Ask me again,” Chloe took a few steps towards Beca. 

Beca stood, frozen in her location in the middle of the small studio apartment. 

She knew the question that Chloe wanted her to ask. However, she was terrified of any possible answer she could receive. 

“Chloe, I know I probably freaked you out, and I’m so sorr--”

“Ask me again.”

This time she spoke with more confidence. 

She took the last few steps towards her friend and stopped directly in front of her. 

Beca tried as hard as she could not to look into her blue eyes, but she knew it was a pointless attempt. Her eyes were one of the most beautiful things on the planet. 

Beca let out a shaky breath, as her pulse skyrocketed past her normal resting rate. 

“W-why won’t you love me, Chloe?”

She finished her question and she hoped the desperation wasn’t noticeable in her voice. She was desperate for an answer. She was desperate to keep her best friend. 

Chloe let a small smile appear on her face. She knew exactly what her answer was. 

“I do.”

Beca’s mind didn’t know what to do with this information. 

“I know you love me Chloe. I love you too. You’re my best friend. I’m sorry it was a dumb text and I was emotional, and I--”

“I don’t think you understand.”

Chloe leaned down ever so slightly in order to connect their lips together. After a few seconds of contact, Chloe pulled away and gazed at the frozen woman in front of her. 

“I do love you, Beca.”

All Beca could do was let the biggest grin spread across her face. 

Chloe reached for the side of Beca’s face and guided her lips back to hers. 

This kiss lasted longer than their first. 

In this moment, Beca felt invincible. A weight had left her body, and she was now free.

Chloe put both hands on Beca’s face in order to wipe the tears streaming down her face as they continued their embrace. 

The two only separated long enough to rest their foreheads on each other.

“I do love you.”


End file.
